Mother Want Ad

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Gizmokid2005
Posts: 206
Joined: October 8th, 2007, 6:48 pm
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Mother Want Ad

Post by Gizmokid2005 » November 21st, 2007, 1:59 pm

This is hysterical. If it had been presented this way, no one would have done it!!!!

POSITION:
Mother, Mom, Mama, Mommy, Momma, Ma

JOB DESCRIPTION:
Long term, team players needed, for challenging permanent work in an,
often chaotic environment. Candidates must possess excellent
communication
and organizational skills and be willing to work variable hours, which
will include evenings and weekends and frequent 24 hour shifts on
call.
Some overnight travel required, including trips to primitive camping
sites
on rainy weekends and endless sports tournaments in far away cities.
Travel expenses not reimbursed. Extensive courier duties also
required.

RESPONSIBILITIES:
The rest of your life. Must be willing to be hated, at least
temporarily,
until someone needs $5. Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
Also,
must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule and be able to go
from
zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat in case, this time, the screams
from
the backyard are not someone just crying wolf. Must be willing to face
stimulating technical challenges, such as small gadget repair,
mysteriously sluggish toilets and stuck zippers. Must screen phone
calls,
maintain calendars and coordinate production of multiple homework
projects.
Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of
all
ages and mental outlooks. Must be willing to be indispensable one
minute,
an embarrassment the next. Must handle assembly and product safety
testing
of a half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
Must
always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst. Must assume
final,
complete accountability for the qualit! y of the end product.
Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and janitorial work
throughout the facility.

POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
Virtually none. Your job is to remain in the same position for years,
without complaining, constantly retraining and updating your skills,
so
that those in your charge can ultimately surpass you

PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
None required unfortunately. On-the-job training offered on a
continually
exhausting basis.

WAGES AND COMPENSATION:
Get this! You pay them! Offering frequent raises and bonuses. A
balloon
payment is due when they turn 18 because of the assumption that
college
will help them become financially independent. When you die, you give
them
whatever is left. The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is
that you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.

BENEFITS:
While no health or dental insurance, no pension, no tuition
reimbursement,
no paid holidays and no stock options are offered; this job supplies
limitless opportunities for personal growth and free hugs for life if
you
play your cards right

MikelannF
Posts: 90
Joined: November 10th, 2007, 12:52 pm

Re: Mother Want Ad

Post by MikelannF » November 22nd, 2007, 2:45 pm

That's so cute.

Gizmokid2005
Posts: 206
Joined: October 8th, 2007, 6:48 pm
Minecraft Username: Gizmokid2005
Location: 192.168.10.100
Contact:

Re: Mother Want Ad

Post by Gizmokid2005 » November 26th, 2007, 11:40 am

Yup.

MikelannF
Posts: 90
Joined: November 10th, 2007, 12:52 pm

Re: Mother Want Ad

Post by MikelannF » November 27th, 2007, 11:23 pm

I think i might e-mail it to my mom.

Gizmokid2005
Posts: 206
Joined: October 8th, 2007, 6:48 pm
Minecraft Username: Gizmokid2005
Location: 192.168.10.100
Contact:

Re: Mother Want Ad

Post by Gizmokid2005 » November 27th, 2007, 11:26 pm

You should.

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