Lessons From Mom

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Gizmokid2005
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Lessons From Mom

Post by Gizmokid2005 » November 21st, 2007, 1:24 pm

I owe my mother a big thank you for my formative childhood years!!


1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE.
"If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished
Cleaning."

2. My mother taught me RELIGION.
"You better pray that will come out of the carpet."

3. My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL.
"If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle
Of
Next week!"

4. My mother taught me LOGIC.
"Because I said so, that's why."

5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC.
"If you fall out off that swing and break your neck, you're not
Going to the store with me."

6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT.
"Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident."

7. My mother taught me IRONY.
"Keep crying, and I'll give you something to cry about."

8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS.
"Shut your mouth and eat your supper."

9. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM.
"Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck!"

10. My mother taught me about STAMINA.
"You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone."

11. My mother taught me about WEATHER.
"This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it."

12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY.
" If I've told you once, I've told you a million times. Don't
Exaggerate!"

13. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE.
"I brought you into this world, and I can take you out."

14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION.
"Stop acting like your father!"

15. My mother taught me about ENVY.
"There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who
Don't have wonderful parents like you do."

16. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION.
"Just wait until we get home."

17. My mother taught me about RECEIVING.
"You are going to get it when you get home!"

18. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE.
"If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to freeze that way."

19. My mother taught me ESP.
"Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you are cold?"

20. My mother taught me HUMOR.
"When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don't come running to
Me."

21. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT.
"If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up."

22. My mother taught me GENETICS.
"You're just like your father."

23. My mother taught me about my ROOTS.
"Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?"

24. My mother taught me WISDOM.
"When you get to be my age, you'll understand."

25. And my favorite: My mother taught me about JUSTICE.
"One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you."

amazdnu
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Joined: October 8th, 2007, 6:34 pm

Re: Lessons From Mom

Post by amazdnu » November 21st, 2007, 1:38 pm

Well now - #13 is still and always will be the best, but you have to fix #25! Your children when you have children will give you a run for your money and they will be worse than you. Besides - they will have grandma around to help them out :)

Gizmokid2005
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Re: Lessons From Mom

Post by Gizmokid2005 » November 21st, 2007, 1:40 pm

HA!!! Grandma isn't getting near my kids!!!

amazdnu
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Joined: October 8th, 2007, 6:34 pm

Re: Lessons From Mom

Post by amazdnu » November 21st, 2007, 3:40 pm

Listen here you little stinkypoo - I can still take you down and always will be able too, and I as in me would be the grandma of those kids. NOW WHAT

Gizmokid2005
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Re: Lessons From Mom

Post by Gizmokid2005 » November 21st, 2007, 4:05 pm

amazdnu wrote:Listen here you little stinkypoo - I can still take you down and always will be able too, and I as in me would be the grandma of those kids. NOW WHAT
OH I know! But I will more far enough away that you will have to go a LONG way to see them ;) And you can't say that you'll do it. Cause you'll still have to be at home for the girls :) I don't plan on waiting for 11 years to have kids...maybe 10...but not 11 :P ;)

amazdnu
Posts: 9
Joined: October 8th, 2007, 6:34 pm

Re: Lessons From Mom

Post by amazdnu » November 22nd, 2007, 11:36 pm

So, when u gonna move??? Waiting.....

Gizmokid2005
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Re: Lessons From Mom

Post by Gizmokid2005 » November 23rd, 2007, 11:08 pm

LOL! All in due time....

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